"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
Guys, will most likely not understand what I'm about to say, but for those ladies out there I know you can relate. For some time now, God has been trying to get me to surrender my thoughts to him. Not just any thoughts, but those relating to guys. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. You know when you see a guy walking down the street and think, "Maybe God will speak to him and he'll talk to me and we'll get married" Ridiculous I know, but so many of us have been there. Over time God has helped me to not wonder if every guy I meet is my future husband, but I still spend far too much time thinking about it. I have simply been lying to myself, why? Who knows. Nothing good has ever come from daydreaming and dwelling on any particular guy, none! And yet I still do it. What actually happens as a result is I become overly emotional and jealous and start depending on that person for my happiness. Such terrible things! But just like any other sin it is quite alluring despite these unwanted consequences. However, I have made up my mind once and for all to stop. And to stop means all out war, mostly with myself. It's not going to be easy, I know because I have tried many times before. This time I am finally fed up. I'm missing out on all that God has for me because I refused to surrender on this point. Ladies, you know how much time this takes out of our time with God, how emotional it makes us, and how it can rob us of the joy and peace Christ has to offer us. We cause ourselves to suffer for no reason at all. Instead let us put our focus back on Christ, and Christ only. Again, I have no doubt this will be difficult. Already today, I've had to repeatedly (and I mean repeatedly) tell myself "take every thought captive." For 21 years I've let myself think in this manner, so it's going to take some time. But mostly, it's going to take self-control (which comes from God) and hard work, lots of it. Maybe, some disagree with me about this being a sin, but hopefully we can agree, that anything that distracts us from the Lord is not something we should continue doing. "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
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Often, I hear people tell me, "Michelle, he's not going to be perfect." And I wonder, what I say to give them the impression that the kind of guy I want is a perfect one. My standards are higher than most and I suppose when they hear me talk about them they think I expect the poor guy to be perfect. Let me make it clear now, this is not what I expect. The problem is that so many people have told me this so I started to wonder, "Maybe they are too high." After all, when I looked around I couldn't find any single guys that met my standards. So, what did I do? Well, I lowered them a tad because I didn't have faith and wanted a relationship. I didn't date anyone, but the guys I considered; I wouldn't have if I kept my original standard. And if I kept that standard, I would of avoided a sea of emotions and a battle of wills (mine vs. God's). But, I was told the guy wouldn't be perfect, so I thought maybe that means we will have different view points on some lifestyle things. Now perhaps, at this point I have confused you so let me give you an example of what I mean. I was interested in one guy who liked movies and music that I can't even understand a Christian liking, let alone loving. It is so anti-God that it's hard for me to listen to. It is a big deal to me that the guy I end up with have a similar view on this, or else I will just end up frustrated. Now, in this situation I knew from the beginning he was interested in this stuff, but I thought, "I can't expect him to be perfect." So, I let it go. At least for awhile, until God reminded me of the standards he has given me. The guy I marry won't be perfect, but that doesn't mean I have to settle. Just because I may not see or know any guys that meet the standard doesn't mean they don't exist. That's where faith in God comes in. I must believe, even when I cannot see. The kind of person I want is someone who is like my best friends. My best friends and I do not agree on everything, but agree on the big stuff. And most importantly they are humble and genuinely seek the Lord and obey Him. If God can give me best friends who are like me in the ways that matter, than surely he can provide a husband too. Don't let people tell you that your standard is too high, but have faith. And one day we will both prove all those people wrong! :) So, I must admit this song is quite catchy. As I ride in the car with my brother I find myself enjoying the song. But when I started paying attention to the lyrics and was saddened to hear some of them. Generally when a lady does the initiating, which is so clearly done in the song, she is desperate. This is exactly what the writer of the song coveys through the lyrics. When I first heard the song, I thought the poor girl is just confused about the roles on men and women in relationships, but then I listened more carefully. Some of these lyrics are as follows, "I trade my soul for a wish ,Pennies and dimes for a kiss," or "I beg and borrow and steal" or "Before you came into my life I missed you so bad I missed you so bad... I missed you so, so bad" How depressing is that? She says other boys chase her, but instead of considering one of them she throws herself at the one who, "gave [her] nothing at all." I know most people probably think I'm over analyzing it, but it is not just about this song. Instead it is about how confused our culture is on the roles of men and women particularly in relationships. Even many Christians are buying into the lie the culture is selling us, through songs like this. Men are suppose to love their wives like Christ loves the Church, so they must do the wooing, pursuing, and initiating; not the women. A woman's job is to respond to the man's initiating. If, a Christian woman would only learn to let Christ complete her, she wouldn't be so desperate for a relationship that she pursues, instead of letting the man pursue. Truth be told, woman don't want to initiate; they just feel like they have to. |
What I write AboutMy posts are all about the Christian walk in some way or another. I do my best to make what I post worth reading, thus there are many more things that I write about but do not post. Some of my posts are my reflections on scripture or a quote, other posts are simply my testimony, and others still are letters of encouragement. I hope that you will be encouraged or challenged in your walk with Christ as a result. God Bless you, my friend.
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