I wonder, how much conflict in our lives is not real, but imaginary (which turns to real)? It seems that many people today are modeling their behavior after that seen in romantic comedies. You know, where there is always some misunderstanding and lack of communication that gets blown way out of proportion. I cannot help but wonder, how much of our day-to-day conflict is because of this. Furthermore, how grieved is our heavenly Father when he sees our behavior toward each other?
The first thing I think we ought to do is stop and think. Think about what sort of presumptions we have made about the person, good or bad. Then consider what the Lord says about them. Jesus calls them brother and sister (if they are saved). Jesus considers them precious and honored in his eyes and died for them because he loves them. This is how we ought to think about others too. Personally, I find I have often not seen them as God does and as soon as I correct this, the “conflict” vanishes. In many cases the problem is with us not the other person. The problem is we think they are judgmental, mean, etc. and have perceived their actions in light of our judgments about them. Therefore, our presuppositions about them have made us biased and blurred our vision so that we take something they say to mean something completely different, and most often to be something negative. Though, I can think of sometimes where they might be to blame, I think in most cases we are the ones to blame. We must be careful to not read too much into what another person says, because we cannot go beyond what is stated; we cannot know their heart.
If however, the issue is still not resolved then go to them and talk to them. There is no use in continually getting upset about the same thing. If you do not tell them their sin they might never know and you are at fault for not holding them accountable. The scripture teaches that we ought to go to one who has sinned against us and be reconciled with them (Matt. 5:24 & Matt. 18:13). Love ought to cover a multitude of sins, but there is a time to confront, particularly if the issue is continual. If they are a believer they ought to welcome your insight because their desire is to sin less, not more. A true believer knows that the wages of sin is death and wants to know about their sin so they may live.
I know that conflict with others is inevitable and can be quite complex, but I wonder how much more peace we would have if we thought of others as the Lord does and prayerfully went to our brother who sinned against us? I wonder how much more love there would be if we truly forgave each other for the past instead of always bringing it up and keeping it in our minds when we think of each other? Oh, may the Lord teach us how to love one another so the world may know we are children of God. May we love our brothers so that we may also love God (1 Jn. 20). Let us aspire to unity in true knowledge of God our savior. Let us love.