I believe that men should initiate. That being said I find it very difficult waiting at times. And it seems, no, I know nothing I do will impress any guy ever. (I say why in a couple of paragraphs)
Of course, if I wanted I could flirt and pursue a guy, and then I would probably find someone who was interested in me. I’d probably be in a relationship right now, if; if I initiated. All I would have to do is find a friend who would blab to the person I was interested in and then the rest would be history. I hear of many relationships that start this way.
But, I don’t believe I should initiate and so I wait. I try to wait. I don’t want a man who lets me initiate. But as I wait, I think, “Maybe if I were godly enough? “Then a godly man would be interested. It doesn’t work that way though. I can be a saint, like Mother Teresa, but if it’s not God’s will, it just ain’t going to happen. When God closes a door it...is...closed. Not to mention the fact that we should not seek to be more like Christ so we can get what we want. That is not at all what the bible teaches us.
Most days I am at peace, but then there are days, like today. Days when I feel lonely and saddened because my heart is conflicted. I want my heart to be only for Jesus. But today, today my heart is saying, “He is not enough.” Which saddens me all the more.