Though I have made huge improvements the thoughts still come. And they come at me like bullets from a machine gun. They just don't stop, it's just one right after the other. This battle to "fix my eyes upon Jesus" is tough. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and think I can't win. But then I pray and remember through Jesus we can do the things he asks of us.
The Lord has showed me that not only am I to take my thoughts captive but I am then to set "my mind on things that are above." (Col 3:2) The second part is crucial. Once I remember that it's not about me, but about Jesus; I find peace.
It is important for me to learn to think only on the things above and fix my eyes upon Jesus, because if I don't the things of this world will distract me and I won't have His peace. It is especially important when it comes to a relationship because not getting a handle on this now, will only lead to me idolizing the person later.
I asked a friend of mine, who is in a relationship, "Can you go five minutes without thinking about him?" Her answer was, "No." (side note: this friend loves the Lord very much and I am not trying to put her down) But, can you imagine that? I know it can't be easy. I'd much rather not go five minutes without thinking about Jesus.
If I can learn to keep my eyes on Christ now, then when it is time for me to be in a relationship, I will
still be able to keep my eyes on Jesus. Otherwise, the struggle will only intensify and misery will pursue. When we think too much about something or someone that something or someone becomes our idol. Once this happens we think can't be happy without it or them And then we become miserable or at the very least unsatisfied, because that thing or person is not there for us as we would like.
How wonderful it will be when I can go through a praise song or prayer and not be distracted! When my mind is totally and completely stayed on Christ. When I have finally taken these thoughts captive once and for all! Until that day I rejoice in the small victories I have each day and continue to pray that the Lord give me the self-control I so desperately need.