Philippians 4:5-7 are some of the most comforting verses. While they are not meant to just be applied to singleness and dating I don’t believe any injustice is done in applying them in this manner. Philippians 4:5-7 states, “The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” The following are some principles that can be drawn from these verses.
1. “The Lord is at hand.”
God is in control. God is in control over everything. This means that he is even in control of your love life. (And what a relief that is!) Remembering God is in control is the first step to guarding your heart. In other words you must first learn to set your heart and mind on the things above.
2. …”In everything by prayer and supplication…”
This is our part. God is in control, but we must pray. We are encouraged to pray precisely because we know that God is in control and will hear our prayers. We are not anxious, even about our love life, when we remember God is in control and we pray. It is ok to pray for God to bring someone in your life. It is not ok for this to be the only or primary thing you pray for. We must intercede on behalf of others for this is the greater work. So, the second step to guarding your heart is to pray. Pray for God to help you desire Him above all, pray for your future spouse, and most of all intercede so that others may be saved and encouraged in Christ Jesus.
3. “…With thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
Whining to God about the state of your love life is not the way to guarding your heart. Nor is it the way to find peace and fulfillment as a single. Instead, you must pray with thanksgiving. Give thanks for all that he has done for you. Give thanks for what he has done for others. Give thanks because he is good. Thanksgiving is the third step to guarding your heart.
4. “And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
This is my favorite part. If you pray with thanksgiving then God will guard your heart for you. What an awesome promise this is! And what a relief! The key to guarding your heart is to let God do it for you. Not only will he guard your heart, but he will also guard your mind. These two things were not connected for no reason. Where our mind is there our heart will also be. If your mind is full of thoughts about marriage then it is not on God. This is not to say you cannot think about marriage…not by any means! I think about marriage. However, it should not be our primary focus, and my friend, you well know, if, it is for you or not. The answer to this problem is the same as to guarding your heart—pray with thanksgiving. When we pray our focus is on the Lord and we can find peace in knowing this.
Oh, my friend I cannot express to you how comforting these verses have been for me, especially as a single. While I like those courtship books, that are being criticized, I do think they might have done a better job explaining this whole guarding your heart business. I too misunderstood what they were saying. If I may, give a personal example?
Last year I liked someone who did not like me back. I was losing my mind because I thought I did something wrong. How could I have feelings for someone who didn’t like me back, unless I was not guarding my heart properly? I wrestled with God for a long time because I thought it was in my power to change things. Then God showed me that he was in control and I had done nothing wrong. What a relief! The whole while I was seeking him and praying for others. In fact, I never had sought him more in my life (and not just about myself and marriage). So, when I read these verses I found peace. I wasn't doing anything wrong and he was guarding my heart, I just needed to trust him to do so. Amy Carmichael is right, in acceptance lies peace.
So, here is what I want to say to all who are single. Pray with thanksgiving. Do not feel ashamed for having feelings for someone, even someone who does not like you back. Trust that as you fix your eyes on Christ, he is guarding your heart and your mind and see your world transform before your very eyes. Begin to live with contentment and fulfillment as a single. Be a light and an encouragement right where you are. You are not a victim, my friend. You are a conqueror, more than a conqueror.