Now let me give some further clarification. “Ultra-soft complementarianism” is complementarianism that is lived out practically in ways that are similar to egalitarian marriages according to egalitarians. So, their point is that we basically believe the same thing and are just fighting over mere words. Mere words, huh? I wonder, if we basically believe the same thing, then why are the complementarians the foolish ones, why are we the ones who are using the wrong words? See, this is not a battle over mere words, but the very words of God. If the Word of God says it then I believe it. I do not believe that I have the right to twist the text around in such a way that it fits what I already believe or what I want it to say. Egalitarians seem to have no problem with this, however. They understand that many complementarians are not extreme and know that the views are similar and yet they still cannot accept the Word of God. They must explain things away so that it fits the view that our culture currently holds about women and equality. This is a dangerous road to take and I fear will only divert people from the truth.
However, it is not just semantics because we are questioning the very Words of God, but also because we do not believe the same thing. Practically, many complementarian marriages may look like egalitarian marriages, but they are not the same. In, one expectations and responsibilities are clear while, in the other they are unclear. In a complementarian marriage the man is held responsible for his actions as a leader and the wife for her part, while in an egalitarian marriage the man can easily neglect his responsibilities and the wife hers. You might think, “Why does it matter who stays with the kids or goes to work?” I tell you why, because the word of God has showed us how to best glorify the Lord in our homes and when we do what we think is best and not what His word says we dishonor God. Why not accept what his word says? Instead of fighting against it, ask God to give you understanding so that you may know the truth and walk in it. This isn’t just a battle of opinions, but a discussion that has at its heart the validity of the Word of God.