I say once again because a few months ago I posted about this struggle. Oswald Chambers says
"Prayer is not an emotion, not a sincere desire; prayer is the most stupendous effort of will." And a "stupendous effort of will" it is indeed! It is almost always a battle to get myself to get down on my knees. Though once I get there I generally don't want to get up. Of course, the next time is almost as difficult as the last.
This semester I have been consistent and yet there have been inconsistencies in my consistency. And by that I mean, I have never before been more consistent. Yet I am still inconsistent. Progress has been made for sure, but there is so much more yet to be made.
Most days I get down on my knees, but then comes those one or two days where I convince myself that my short prayers while walking to class will suffice. I laugh now as I write this, it is absolute folly to think it suffices. Not when "prayer is the greater work". Then there are the days where I get down on my knees and think that suffices for reading His word. Again, absolute folly! I must be consistent with both, not just one or the other.
This past weekend (Friday & Saturday), I once again found myself avoiding the Lord. Praying little prayers as I do something else, but never really seeking Him. And what was my excuse? There was none, because I spent most of the weekend at home lost in my thoughts. Which were not the things Paul tells us to think on (Phil 4:8). Even if they were; they would still not be sufficient.
The truth is I have the time, I just don't always make the effort. I wish I did not hurt my Father in this way. I wish I would only be more consistent and not make excuses. But I am very grateful that I can come home running and he will be there with arms wide open. I am child who wanders from time to time, but the Father knows this and loves me anyway.
If you struggle, like me, than be encouraged. Together we can, one day at a time, put forth this stupendous effort of will and persevere in prayer. When we do this we will find that we can go fewer and fewer days without getting on our knees, until we can not go a single day without getting on our knees. And from there who knows, maybe it will be that we cannot go without getting on our knees, two, three, four times a day!