I have listened to different people talk about their marriages and how difficult it has been for them and how God brought them through the difficult times. Many of them talk about there being seasons, years even, where they really didn’t like being near one another and would have wanted a divorce if it weren’t for Jesus’ teaching against it. Is this what my marriage is destined for? Years of unhappiness and not liking the person I married? Will I find myself going to sleep, night after night, next to someone I cannot stand to be around? I am not sure I want to be married if this will be the case. Is there something, anything he and I can do to prevent this from happening? If so, then, “What?”
I wonder what difference being a Christian makes on marriage, and more than that what difference being a mature Christian makes. I wonder, “How much of these issues stem from immaturity or past mistakes and baggage? And how much is just to be expected because of daily life and circumstances?” Marriage is difficult, but what does that mean? How is it difficult? It seems to me that many of these issues I have heard couples talk about stem from unresolved issues from the past, whether it be from their childhood or otherwise or simply immaturity in Christ. So, then it would seem if I let God deal with me on these issues now, then when the time comes I will not have any unwanted and unnecessary baggage I take into my marriage. Additionally, I will be past the infancy stage and moved on to the maturity that the apostle Paul talks about. So, for two people who have dealt with any baggage they carried and have moved past infancy, what does marriage look like? How will it be difficult for them? I wonder about all this because I want to quit living in a fantasy land where everyone lives happily ever after and begin to understand the realities of marriage so I can actually be prepared and not blindsided. I asked my parents tonight about their marriage and what they thought about it all. Tomorrow, hopefully they will be able to give me some insight. They did say that they have not had years of not wanting to be near one another, which is extremely encouraging. Until tomorrow, though I suspect until I am married, I will wonder.