My continual prayer is Psalm 119:27-30, “Make me understand the way of your precepts and I will meditate on your wondrous works. My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Put false ways far from me and graciously teach me your law! I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me.” I desire to know God more and for him to teach me his ways so I may walk in them (Ex. 33:13). God has answered and continues to answer my prayer as he has promised he would (James 1:5). However, the greater my knowledge, the deeper my sorrows grow. I find myself often worn out from fighting the battle—the battle for truth. Every time I turn around it seems someone is teaching a false gospel or they are teaching a distortion of the truth. I am continually haunted by the verse that states, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many,” (Mt. 7:13). This truth isn’t just for some other time and place, but for today. Many people, I personally know, will not enter. Even, more disturbing is Jesus’ statement, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness,’” (Mt. 7:21-23). It’s difficult enough to accept that those I know who do not profess Christ will not be saved in the end. However, accepting that many, who profess Christ, at least with their lips, will also not be saved is crushing. Add to this witnessing many of his disciples turning back and no longer walking with him (Jn. 6:66). Do they not know how wonderful, gentle, kind, holy, and very God he is? And yet I know that Jesus said, “There are some of you who do not believe. This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father,” (Jn. 64: -65). I often find myself weeping like the prophets as I look out and see these things occurring. I am keenly aware that many of my convictions are unpopular, even among my saved friends, but I cannot turn from the truth because it is unpopular and difficult to understand. All of which increases my sense of loneliness and sorrow. I find my hope in Jesus’ words, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free,” (Jn. 8:31-32). I find hope in the sovereignty of God, knowing that he teaches his children to obey him and walk in his ways. I find hope in the power of the resurrection of Christ Jesus.
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‘“Sometimes we react by a kind of religious reflex and repeat dutifully the proper words and phrases even though they fail to express our real feelings and lack authenticity of personal experience. Right now is such a time. A certain conventional loyalty may lead some who hear this unfamiliar truth expressed for the first time to say brightly, “Oh I am never lonely. God said, “I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee,’ and Christ said, ‘Lo, I am with you always.’ How can I be lonely when Jesus is with me?” Now I do not want to reflect on the sincerity of any Christian soul, but this stock testimony is too neat to be real.’” –A. W. Tozer This quote comes from my favorite chapter in the book the Radical Cross by Tozer. In this chapter he discusses loneliness and the pain therein associated. In a sermon on depression Charles Spurgeon relates loneliness to depression. He states, “This loneliness, which if I mistake not is felt by many of my brethren, is a fertile source of depression; and our ministers' fraternal meetings and the cultivation of holy intercourse with kindred minds will, with God's blessing, help us greatly to escape the snare.” Depression and loneliness are realities of the Christian walk that everyone experiences at some point or another, and often many times over. I think this is what F.R. Havergal might have been getting at when he wrote, “Never again the boy-life, Only the pain and joy life-- More the first than the last.” Oswald Chambers agrees stating, “Loneliness marks the child of God.” The Christian walk is full of joy, but also great sadness and depression. In the beginning of our walk God allows many of us to experience life up on the mountain, but as we grow in grace we learn that we only saw through a glass dimly what the Christian life really is like. What are we to do when we experience these times of darkness? That I can only partially answer, for I am in a time of darkness myself. The first thing I think we must do, though it is far easier said than done, is to fix our eyes on Christ. He is our hope and we must constantly remind ourselves of this, I must constantly remind myself of this. The second thing I think we must do, is take our thoughts captive. My emotions have been running like crazy these past few weeks and I have often let them rule over me. I have let them become my rule of interpretation. For instance, in my last blog I mentioned feeling rejected. While it is possible that that person is interested in someone else, it is equally possible that my insecurities blinded me so that through my blurry lens friendly actions were judged as something more. This is why it is important to remember our purpose—to glory Christ and to take our thoughts captive. Who knows where Satan would lead us if we let our thoughts and emotions run unchecked. I cannot always control how I feel, but I can control thoughts that lead to certain feelings. What has been helpful to me is remembering that emotions never last. How I feel today does not determine how I will feel tomorrow. It is also helpful to remember I am at war and that there is an enemy who is prowling around seeking to devour us. Being able to discern the work of Satan is imperative to finding peace in the midst of a storm of emotions that lead us to believe lies. The last thing I think we must do in these times is praise God. Charles Spurgeon said about the devil, “He is well aware that mournful Christians often dishonor the faithfulness of God by mistrusting it. Thus he thinks if he can worry us until we no longer believe in the constancy and goodness of the Lord, he will have robbed God of His praise." It is hard, to be sure, to praise God in the midst of melancholy, but it necessary nonetheless. My friend, I pray that if you too are struggling, you might be encouraged to know you are not alone. Many who have gone before us have struggled just the same. May God be faithful to complete the work he began in you and carry your burdens as he has promised. May God comfort your heart and strengthen it in every good work.
As of late, I find myself relating very much to the line from the Newsboys song that says, “When You called my name
I didn't know what that word really meant.” I never knew what the Christian life was really about and just when I think I’ve got it figured out something changes and I learn I am wrong. Although, I have the Holy Spirit within me and all things are possible with God, not all things are easy. Over these past few weeks I have been challenged in ways I never thought I would be and struggled to live out my faith. It seems it is much easier to live for Christ when all is going well and not so much when life seems to fall apart. Over these past few weeks I have had to handle a difficult roommate situation, work issues (primarily gossip), and endure watching a person of interest be interested in someone else. I have had to wrestle with my feelings to get revenge, my feelings of selfish want, and most difficult of all, my feeling as though I have been utterly disobedient to my Savior. I handled the first couple of issues well enough. I asked for prayer from practically everyone I knew and advice from my pastor. The later two I have poorly handled. Watching a person of interest go after someone else (so it seems) caused me distress. Which in turn caused me to ride a coaster of emotions and be deceived by Satan. He would have me to believe that because I was sorrowful over the person that I had been disobedient to Christ the whole time I was interested—that my feelings were in fact sinful. He knows all to well what a blow that is to my faith and to me. For in those days when I wrestled against (still am wrestling to a lesser degree) feeling as though I had utterly disobeyed God, I found myself barely able to eat, let alone come to God in prayer. Seeking God was the last thing I wanted to do because I felt as though God had not come through on his promises. If I really was disobedient, as Satan would have me to believe, then why did God not answer my prayers about being obedient and helping me to love only him? I prayed continually that I my eyes would be fixed on Christ and not the boy. So if I was disobedient, then God had not heard my prayers. How tricky Satan is! Even though I knew this was his work I still believed. The truth of the matter is that I, imperfectly to be sure, was nevertheless, obedient during the time I was interested in the person. I was in fact; most disobedient during the time Satan had me believing I had been disobedient. Thanks be to God that he seeks after us and works to complete the work he began in us. By the grace of God I managed to cry out and he has heard my plea. By the grace of God I am able to ask God to bless the person I was interested in and his potential relationship. In fact, I do believe that praying for the persons to receive the desires of their hearts and obtain a relationship that glorifies God is the only way to find peace in this situation. Difficult, though it may be, I am called to deny myself and seek first the kingdom of God. Thus, my first desire for the two of them should be that God bring them together if it will advance the kingdom of God. Admittedly, it is not naturally my first desire, but it is my prayer that God will put to rest my selfish lusts and cause me to desire first his kingdom and his righteousness so that I may genuinely rejoice when/if God brings them together. I know these matters seem trivial compared to great persecutions and things alike, but these kinds of trials, it seems, are what the Christian life is composed of. Will we do everything for the kingdom of God? Will we deny ourselves in every situation we are placed in? We will really seek first the kingdom of God? Will I? I believe this might be what Oswald Chambers was getting at when he said, “It does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes.” Grace and peace to all my brothers and sisters in Christ. May God strengthen you with power in you innermost being, that you might stand firm in the faith and prevail against the flesh and against the enemy, and may God grant you peace in all ways and at all times. It’s been a while since I’ve last written, which is quite a bummer because I like writing about the things of God. It’s just not very easy to write when you feel like everything in your life is out of control and are struggling to be obedient to Christ. I used to feel like a conqueror, but lately I feel like a weakling who is holding on only by the grace of God. The biggest difficulty for me as of late has been to love those who mistreat me. There have been, from several different places, people who have spoken evil of me or were simply inconsiderate. It’s one thing to talk about loving your enemy and forgiving, but quite another to live it out. Through the prayers of my brothers and sisters and by the grace of God I have been able to maintain some level of composure amidst each trial, though Lord knows it has not been easy. Though I have been obedient (mostly) all of this has caused me to see how sinful I truly am. I very much relate to Paul who said, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.” In addition to struggling to love those who hurt me; I struggle to trust in the character (especially the goodness) of God. If I am to be honest I am deathly afraid. Often times I am overwhelmed by my emotions and struggle to not let them infect my thoughts and lead me astray. In those moments I fear God is not in control and that he will break my heart instead of guard it. I feel things, which are untrue and fail miserably at bringing those thoughts (and thus feelings) under the obedience of Christ. I know that this is how Satan prefers to work in my life, but he is just so convincing that it takes much prayer and meditation on the word to believe the right things about God again. God might let us get hurt, I am hurt, but the way he does so is not the way Satan describes to me. (If only Satan used his demons to beat me up like he did with the monks, then I could handle it because I would instantly recognize he was at work.) I really wanted to write about something else, like the problem with courtship books, the ways in which Satan works, or cessationism, but instead you get my honest confession. Which is simply this; that the way is hard that leads to life, just like Jesus said it would be. But praise God he is faithful to complete the work that he has started and able to give me grace to be obedient to him at all times. Praise God his promises are true. Praise God he has given us his word so we might know him more. Praise God for he is surely worthy to be praised!
Tonight I was listening to What Do We Know by TFK (because I like it) and that got me thinking, “What do we know?” Which naturally leads us to the question “What can we know?” The temptation in this postmodern world is to say that we can’t know, and although I’ve written on this before, I want to briefly put it another way.
God created us for a personal relationship with himself. For throughout the OT God said, “And they shall be my people, and I will be their God.” If we are created to commune with God, then we must be able to know him. It is impossible to have a relationship with someone you do not know. How can we ever say “My Jesus, my closest friend,” if we do not know him? Now, theology, by definition, is the study of the nature of God. Therefore, theology cannot be so easily dismissed as unimportant or irrelevant, as is often the case. Theology, or perhaps, doctrine drawn from theological principles, seems to be divisive. I would suggest that the opposite is true. Doctrine brings together those who are truly brothers and sisters and identifies those that are not. Since, theological statements are statements about God himself, it would behoove us to carefully consider what each statement says about our Lord. For as Tozer said, “The man who comes to the right belief about God is relieved of ten thousand temporal problems.” Additionally, any false statement is blasphemous and a sin against the Almighty. So, my friend, do not give up so easily in your pursuit of truth. Seek God and remember Jesus’ words in John 8:31-32, “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’” Last semester I wrote two blogs about my struggle to believe in God and to be obedient to him. As I looked back at my journals from last semester it occurred to me that I have not written about it all since. I don’t presume that many are interested, but I feel as though I must write so that those who do might glorify our Heavenly Father. My struggle was hard. For almost the entirety of the semester I felt hopeless, lifeless, depressed, apathetic, as if there were no reason to live, as if God were not real, like I had no relationship with Him if he was, and as if I had no faith. I pray, if you were ever around me then, that by the grace of God you couldn’t tell just how much I struggled and the amount of tears I cried. Instead I hope that you saw joy, peace, and above all Christ. The joy of my Lord was truly my strength, which enabled me to live and to not give up. The biggest reason for my difficulty was the teaching of some professors. I like to believe that if someone says they love Jesus that they really do. I cry when I have reason to believe the opposite is true. God does not want any to perish and neither do I. However, not all that cry “Lord, Lord” will enter the kingdom of heaven and this was the truth I wrestled with. My professors taught things that confused me tremendously. I couldn’t understand how what they believed even came close to what I believed. Which meant that either I didn’t know God, or even how to know him, or they didn’t. The first couple months I spent confused and crushed. How could a professor at a Christian university, who many love, be teaching false doctrine? Surely, this wouldn’t happen. Surely, others would notice? Right? My professor taught, “The intention of creation was incarnation. Not the intention of incarnation was salvation.” This means that Jesus did not primarily come to die for our sins, but only “accrued” that mission. In his paradigm the cross was not central and its meaning was substantially lost. He claimed that Jesus could have died any other way, that the literal cross was not that important. He claimed that Christ could have come at any other time—he only came when he did because Mary was the first one willing to let the Holy Spirit work in her. He taught we are saved by faith and works. He taught that you are disobedient to God if you do not speak in tongues. The problem with all of this is it doesn’t really line up with scripture, but then he doesn’t believe in scripture the way I do. He sees it as a witness of the Holy Spirit, which means the cannon is not closed and the bible is not the final word. I want to know the truth. If I am wrong I am willing to be corrected. So, I really wrestled with what he taught to know if it was true or not—to know if I was wrong or he was. Through all of this I concluded that he and I believe in two completely different Gods. I believe in the God of historical Christianity and he believes in a false god. His teaching on the cross is far too a deviation from what Christians have testified since the time of the apostolic fathers. We know God’s love for us only because he died for us while we were still sinners. Not to mention Christ tells us in John 9:39, “For judgment I came into this world, that those who do not see may see, and those who see may become blind.” Christ came because of sin. The intention of incarnation was, in fact, salvation. I hope, my friend, that you can see how our God has preserved me. Last semester was the most trying time in my faith thus far. I had to decide what I really believe in, but in these past couple of months God has lifted me up. I’ve never felt more sure of what I believe before which makes me feel tremendously free. “Ah, what a relief it is to be in Christ He's the life that I need to live!”
What is the sufficiency of scripture? It seems to me that this is one of those biblical phrases that gets tossed around without any real understanding of the implications. I am personally, guilty of using these words without truly understanding their meaning. The sufficiency of scripture means it is sufficient—sufficient for knowing all that we need to know to “glorify and enjoy God.”
This is great news my friend! I do not know about you, but I used to fret wondering if I was truly doing God’s will or not. I thought I needed an audible word or some miraculous sign from him in order to confirm the direction I should take. The sufficiency of scripture, however, means that we do not need to look for these signs, but only to scripture. The scripture informs us not only about what are right and wrong actions, but also about which motives and attitudes we should have. This then, is how we are to know the will of God. If it is not immoral, according to the scriptures, and our hearts are truly seeking first the kingdom of God then we know we are doing God’s will. What’s more, informing us of our real motivation is the work of scripture as the author of Hebrews states, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart,” (Heb. 4:12). So it is only through reading His word that we can know if our hearts are truly pure and blameless, set on the things above. Confidence and peace about the will of God comes from immersing yourself in scripture daily. The sufficiency of scripture means that we have more freedom than, perhaps, we ever realized. We have freedom to choose between which job we should take, who we should marry, where we will live, and even what we are going to eat for lunch! The point is to simply do it all for the glory of God. It also means, however, that we should not be seeking divine writing in the sky or extra-biblical revelations. If God’s word is sufficient these things are an unnecessary waste of our time. As Justin Peters says, “Want to hear God speak to you? Read your bible. Want to hear God speak audibly? Read it out loud.” If you want to learn about this topic I recommend the following sources. · Sermon by John MacArthur · Blog Post by John Piper · Blog Post by Carl Trueman Not too long ago a man said to me, “Seek after the truth, but be careful if you think you’ve found it.” The man, an atheist, does not believe it is possible to know the truth and not too long ago I would have largely agreed with him. Naturally, as a Christian, I would have to deny his statement to some extent, but what would I deny? Not too long ago I could have been persuaded to believe in another gospel because it seems so arrogant to believe one can know the truth. What are you to do when all around you there seem to be God-fearing Christians with different perspectives? Is knowing the truth just impossible?
For fear of offending others and seeming arrogant many are quick to say we cannot really know what is true until we get to heaven, but this is a cop out. We are not God, nor will we ever be. We cannot know things omnisciently now, or ever, but we can know truth nonetheless. D.A. Carson wrote, “We can know it [truth] the way human beings know anything—with a knowledge that is real and substantial, though without being omniscient.” We can know truth because God’s word promises it to us (James 1:5). To believe otherwise is to make God out to be a liar and to affirm he has no power—no control. But, my friend, to have such a low view of God is a tragedy and a sin. Tozer wrote, “The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him.” He continues, “The heaviest obligation lying upon the Christian Church today is to purify and elevate her concept of God until it is once more worthy of Him—and of her.” Knowing truth is about God not us. Does it make sense to claim to have a relationship with someone, yet know little, if nothing, about the person? If not, then how can this be true for our relationship with God? We can know God, a truly amazing thing, and thus the truth. I would submit to you that, if, you lack confidence about some topic you have not studied it enough. Through prayer and meditation you can become confident in the truth as the Holy Spirit enables you to see what is plainly before you. I used to believe I could never be confident about any major debate among Christians, but through hours and hours of studying I have come to believe that I can know the truth. I affirm the complementarian stance because I have spent several hundred hours studying it. Likewise, I affirm the Reformed view because I have spent hours upon hours studying it. I affirm the authority and inherency of the bible because I have spent countless hours studying it. There are many other things that I have come to believe after taking the time to study them. This is the key, my friend, to knowing the truth. It takes hard work and does not happen overnight. Nor is it easy. There have been many tears shed as I pursue the truth. My views become less and less like the world everyday causing much pain and loneliness. Not to mention heartbreak as I am forced to admit many people I long to be saved are likely not. Although it is not easy, it is not without its benefits. There is peace that comes with knowing God that cannot be comprehended. This peace enables me to not be offended easily and to rest well at night, knowing my conscience is clear. Each day I experience unspeakable joy that strengthens me to do the will of my Father. The benefits are truly endless and worth the struggle. My friend, at the end of the day God is God. The tendency is to analyze him as we would any other subject, but this will not do. We do not get to decide who God is or how he acts. Psalm 135:6 states, “Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps.” If you approach God without reverence for him you are a fool. The truth of God cannot be reasoned out, but known only through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Believe what you may, but “the wrath of God is coming,” (Col. 3:6) and denying the true Christ will not change it’s reality. Lev. 5:5 "...you shall confess the sin that you have committed." I confess that I hide behind knowledge. I spend the majority of my free time seeking knowledge about God and his word in part because I genuinely want to know God and in excess because I do not want to feel. If I rest, for even just one moment, I am forced to recognize just how vulnerable I really am. How easily my heart can be broken. If, I rest, I must face the conviction of my sin—my lack of trust in the Lord’s sovereignty, belief in his goodness, and in his worthiness to be praised. So tonight, I sit broken hearted because I have been seeking knowledge and not truly God himself. I confess that I am selfish. I often wish that my loved ones might feel the same way I feel—hurt, broken-hearted, or worse, lonely; instead of joyful, peaceful, and loved by God. I tell myself I want people to know God, but really I desire more for people to understand me than to understand God. My motives are not pure and my heart is surely full of sin. I confess that the word sin became just another word to me, instead of a convicting description of what is in my heart. So, I forgot that sin is not just what we do but also what we think. While my actions may have seemed right, my thoughts were far from it. It is in times like these, that I am thankful for my thorn in the flesh for humbling me, making me vulnerable, and teaching me the ways in which I sin against YWHW. It is times like this I wonder at the cross of Jesus. It is times like this that I am most thankful to have a Holy God who came in the flesh to take on the wrath of God meant for me and die for my sins.
My last few posts have not been easy for me to write and were not on subjects that most people even care about, but unlike those, this post is about one subject I have consistently written on in the past and most everyone cares about—relationships.
In my past I used to think that God would have to speak audibly (whether he speaks audibly is an altogether separate topic) to me so I would know if it was his will for me to marry and who to marry. However, I no longer believe this and realize this belief was just a result of idolizing marriage. I had no peace whatsoever because my focus was on marriage and Christ, instead of Christ only. So, I want to write a post that gives biblical ways to know if you should marry. Now, I know I am single and some might object to me writing on this subject for this very reason. However, I would submit to you that it does not do me or anyone else who is single any good if we cannot know about these things before we choose a spouse and get married. Furthermore, I believe in a God who says, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you,” (Matt. 7:7). In case you think this does not apply to wisdom, remember back to King Solomon who was praised because he asked for wisdom. Not to mention James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Ok, so now that I have established why I think I am qualified to write this, let’s get to it. First, things first. “Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the LORD!” (Lam. 3:40). The first thing we need to do is examine ourselves to make sure we are truly seeking to fix our eyes on Christ. We need to do a heart check to ensure that we have not strayed from our first love. Often times we are so eager to get what we want, that we forget to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Him. Christ does not owe marriage to you and marriage should not be what you seek. If you are not at peace regarding marriage then it is likely still an idol in your heart. Put your focus on Christ and set your heart on the things above. Practically, this means you have to read the word of God and pray. You are a fool if you think you can have a relationship with God, let alone know his will, apart from spending any real time with him. I say this, only because too often people neglect this altogether. I am not saying you must be perfect at it, or even that I am perfect at it, just that if you can’t remember the last time you read your bible on any consistent basis you are not ready for marriage because you have other things that need to be worked out first—like getting right with God. Now, let us look at 1 Corinthians 9:4-6, “Do we not have a right to eat and drink? Do we not have a right to take along a believing wife, even as the rest of the apostles and the brothers of the Lord and Cephas? Or do only Barnabas and I not have a right to refrain from working?” These verses express a glorious truth that has set me free, and I pray will set you free. These verses free us from the belief that we must pray to God about every little thing or every big thing. These verses teach us that we have choices in the Lord. God’s will for our life is not that we marry that one specific person, A.K.A. “the One,” but that we seek first his kingdom. If you are truly seeking to glorify God in all you do then you are doing his will. Naturally, you need to seek wise counsel and make sure your decision lines up with scripture, but there is no need to wait for some miraculous sign that may never come because you can be confident you are already in the center of His will if you are seeking him first. If you still don’t believe me listen to Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:39, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” You are free to choose who you want to marry in the Lord or if you want to marry at all. There are at least two main reasons I can think of for getting married. The first, and less important to some extent, is if you burn with passion. If you are tempted in this way then it is good for you to be married. Paul said, “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion,” (1 Cor. 7:9). However, I would add that through Christ all things are possible, including overcoming temptation, so we ought to proceed with caution if this is our only reason. The second reason is if you believe you can do more to glorify God by being married. Listen to Paul’s reason for not exercising his rights, “For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them,” (1 Cor. 9:19). He said, “I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings,” (1 Cor. 9:23). He did not want to put “an obstacle in the way of the gospel of Jesus Christ.” (1 Cor. 9:12) All of these verses demonstrate that Paul believed that he could do more for the kingdom of God as a single man then as a married man. At the end of the day, whether married or single it is all about glorifying Christ in all that we do. Burning with passion is one indicator that you might glorify God more married than single. I believe that desiring it, in a healthy way, is another. Personally, I believe God has and is preparing me to be a mom who trains her children up in the way they should go. Not only do I desire to be a mother, but I have been blessed to be in various positions where I have learned about parenting and teaching children about God. Currently I teach two year olds and am so thankful for the opportunity to teach them about God. There are always new things I think to do with them and am grateful for the head start when it comes to my own family. For example, now pray for them out loud and have been blessed to hear them pray out loud the same things I prayed for them. I never would I have thought of that a year ago! But now I know to do it with my own children. All of this leaves one last question. Who should I marry? I could take up a whole other post writing about just that, however I will only make a few comments. First, consider the timing. Are you in the right relationship with God? Are you in a place where you can live on your own? Second, pray and seek wise counsel. And my friends, wise counsel is not your best buddy, but an elder who exhibits the fruit of the spirit. Consider whether you have similar theology. Can you go to the same church? What do they believe the roles in marriage are? I can go on and on, but for the sake of time I will direct you to John Piper’s blog. Third, go for it… if you are a man that is. If you are in a place where you can be married soonish, you know a great godly woman who passes the biblical test and wise counsel test, then pursue her. If you are a woman and you know a great man who, likewise passes the tests, then pray to God and let the man initiate. (Personally, I would pray that God might give him the wisdom and the courage to know when and how to pursue you.) Finally, remember that as you consider these reasons God knows your heart. Get in the right relationship with him before you try and figure out if you should be married or not. Don’t simply believe superficially that you desire marriage to glorify God, believe it truly in your heart. If you do have peace regarding marriage then do not be afraid to make future plans with that in mind, like saving for a wedding. My friends I pray that God may grant you the peace of Christ and not the anxiety I once had. May he make your joy complete as you seek to live for Him. And “may [you] be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.,” (Col. 1:9-12). I wanted to write this post a few days ago, but I was afraid. I am afraid of what people will call me, I am afraid of losing my friends, and most of all of being alone. My last couple of posts have not been very warm and fuzzy, and this one won’t really be either. Here is the thing, God is saying to me, “Behold, I set before you the way of life and the way of death,” (Jer 21:8). I am at a crossroads in my life, as are many other Christians, and I must choose to deny myself and walk the narrow path or live a life of complacency. I must choose to obey the great commission and teach all that Jesus has commanded or only teach it partially, avoiding the controversial parts. So here is what I want to say. Often times when an issue comes up in the media many Christians, most of whom are well-meaning, write telling us to remain silent and to focus on other things. But, those other things are often the issues which the world already agrees with us on, like slave trafficking. We ought to be outraged at all sin that dishonors God, but we need to speak up about the issues that are at the forefront—that are in the media. Martin Luther said it this way, “If I profess, with the loudest voice and the clearest exposition, every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christianity. Where the battle rages the loyalty of the soldier is proved; and to be steady on all the battle-field besides is mere flight and disgrace to him if he flinches at that one point.” John Calvin said, “A dog barks when his master is attacked. I would be a coward if I saw that God's truth is attacked and yet would remain silent.” Although, and unfortunately, some Christians as of late have spoken in ways that are not pleasing to the Lord, we should not criticize those who have spoken out because of a deep desire to see God glorified and people have life abundantly. Do not ask me to remain silent. For like the prophet Jeremiah, “If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,’ there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot,” (Jer. 20:9). The problem we are facing today is best summarized by Oswald Chambers, who died almost 100 years ago in 1917, “The theme of the world’s religion today is to serve in a pleasant, non-confrontational manner. But our only priority must be to present Jesus Christ crucified— to lift Him up all the time (see 1 Corinthians 2:2). Every belief that is not firmly rooted in the Cross of Christ will lead people astray.” The first problem is that most of us, are like me, too afraid to speak out on the controversial issues for fear of disturbing the peace, being called names, or worse, losing relationships with those we care most about. Jesus warned us it would be like this. He said, “Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division,” (Luke 12:51/Matt. 10:34). In another place Jesus said, “For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household,” (Matt 10:35-36). We will persecuted for his name’s sake (Matt. 10:22) and “And whoever does not take his cross and follow [Him] is not worthy of [Him],” (Matt 10:38). I must decide, you must to decide, to acknowledge Him before men or to deny Him before men (Matt 10:32). Either way there are consequences, either He will also will acknowledge us before His Father who is in heaven or He will deny us before His Father who is in heaven (Matt 10:32-33). The second problem is that most of the time we do not preach the gospel. It does no good to say homosexuality is a sin without telling all of those who face this struggle what the remedy is. The remedy is accepting that Christ died to save sinners who are lost. He died to save homosexauls, drunkards, and every other type of sinner. We must call sin sin, but we must also give hope. Hope is found in the death and resurrection of the Son of God who died to give us life more abundant. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control are the fruits that you have to offer those who are lost. Likewise, these are the fruits that are available to all who should choose to believe. I have decided, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, ‘The righteous shall live by faith,’” ( Rom. 1:16-17). Let us all believe that, “the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart,” (Heb. 4:12). Let us believe that life is given according to his word (Psalm 119:25;107). Finally in the words of Paul, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love,” (1 Cor. 16:13-14). One of my favorite things about Christmas is Hallmark Christmas movies. I am not really a romantic, but I do love a good cheesy romance. So far this Christmas I have watched about fifteen movies, but have at least ten more on dvr waiting for me. Now, I say all this so you will not think I am hating on these movies, this post is not about the movies (not exactly). This post is about a commonly used word in these movies that reflects a larger cultural view and how we should live our lives. I cannot think of a movie that I have watched this Christmas season that has not used the line, in some form, “You deserve it.” Although I do love these movies I cringe whenever I hear this word “deserve” because it is always in connection to something good and is usually based on works. The main character is always someone who helps others, has some tragic backstory, and so somehow deserves to be happy this Christmas—deserves to have someone who will love them. But, my friends, the only thing we ever deserve is death. Paul said, “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth,” (Rom. 1:18). Ungodly and unrighteous are descriptions of us before our justification. The scriptures tell us that all of us are sinners and we all deserve death (Rom. 3:23). Apart from Christ we are maggots and worms (Job 25:6), and children of wrath (Eph. 2:3). We were “by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind,” because we all lived “according to the passions of our flesh,” (Eph. 2:3). In our natural state we did not please God (Rom. 8:7-8), but desecrated his name. This is who we were and death is what we deserved. Yet, “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” (Rom. 5:8). This is the gospel my friend. Jesus Christ loves you and I so much that he took on the wrath of God and died for our sins. In doing so he gave us life. The scriptures tell us that, “God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ," (Eph. 2:4-5). Furthermore, “by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them,” (Eph. 2:8-10). We are called to live according to the will of God so that we might glorify him—that we might do what we were created to do (Isa. 43:5-7). Now, I want to challenge you (and myself) to remember what we deserve whenever we are tempted to complain or whenever we think we have the right to do this or do that. As a believer, there are many things you should not do because they either tempt you to sin and/or dishonor God. My friends, there are many movies and tv shows you should not watch because they make provision for the flesh and teach you to live according to your flesh. There are many songs you should not listen to because they do likewise. Our God is “Holy, Holy, Holy,” and we should not associate ourselves with things that are not righteous. Which movies should you not watch? Or songs should you not listen to? I do not have to say because you already know. Everytime you listen to or watch it you feel conviction. Heed it my friend. Before you complain that you are free to do as you please, stop and remember that you deserve hell and then remember Christ’s act of love. Christ died for our sins, and too many of us thank him by justifying our living according to the flesh, which is not thanks at all. Instead of heading other believers’ warnings we label them as legalists to shut them up. Oh my friends, heed their warnings! God’s wrath is something to fear. He said to the Israelites, “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done? declares the Lord. Behold, like the clay in the potter's hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel, (Jer. 18:6). So will I break this people and this city, as one breaks a potter's vessel, so that it can never be mended,” (Jer. 19:11). The Lord says, “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength,” (Jer. 17:5). Instead of making excuses, “put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires,” (Rom. 13:14). This does not just apply to movies and music, but to all of our actions. Consider every, and I mean every, action you do. Consider whether it is really out of a desire to glorify God and whether it accomplishes just that or not. We are called to walk in the light, so let us walk in the light. Let us believe the word of God and trust that real freedom, joy, and peace are found by walking down the narrow way. Giving up that one movie for the sake of abundant life, isn’t it worth it? Isn’t your hearts to desire to give thanks to God for your salvation? Therefore, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect,” (Rom. 12:2). “If I profess, with the loudest voice and the clearest exposition, every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christianity. Where the battle rages the loyalty of the soldier is proved; and to be steady on all the battle-field besides is mere flight and disgrace to him if he flinches at that one point.” Martin Luther I recently read a blog post that distressed me greatly. I cannot remain silent when it comes to the word of God. The word of God is truth and it is life to us. Psalm 119, the longest Psalm, repeats the notion that His word is life. Psalm 119:25 states, “My soul clings to the dust; give me life according to your word!” Again in verse 31 the Psalmist wrote, “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life in your ways.” There are many more like this that connect life to the word of God, which is precisely why I can’t keep silent nor should any of you. The word brings life and sin brings death; contrary to what a popular blog post has implied. Thus, any one who preaches that homosexuality is a sin is doing so in order that people may have life. To imply that preaching this is what causes many suicides is completely unbiblical. That a Christian would believe that God’s word causes death is heartbreaking. God’s word tells us otherwise, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord,” (Rom. 6:23). So, stating homosexuality is a sin does not lead people to anything besides repentance. No Christian wants people to die, especially those who are in sin. This is why we must stand firm with the truth found in the scriptures, on all issues. Oswald Chambers said, “If you think you are helping lost people with your sympathy and understanding, you are a traitor to Jesus Christ.” I fear too many believers think that not choosing a side is the way to peace and to loving our neighbors. But, there are many times we must choose between Christ and people—between speaking the truth and offending or denying the truth and offering our sympathies. Chambers continues, “Consequently, [we] cannot always be charming and friendly, but must be willing to be stern to accomplish major surgery. We are sent by God to lift up Jesus Christ, not to give wonderfully beautiful speeches.” The first thing that disturbs me is the belief that God’s word leads to death, but the second is the belief that we cannot know truth. How can a believer believe this? Jesus said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me,” (John 14:6). If you believe in Christ—if you know Christ then you know truth. As a Christian you can not truly be a postmodern and should be aware of how postmodernism has affected your beliefs. James demonstrates the falseness of this belief in verse 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Perhaps, the most concerning part of this belief is what it says about God. God is all powerful, but not powerful enough to teach us? Oh that we would believe in God who is above all and able to do anything he pleases—that we would believe in God, who with his hands, stretched out the heavens (Isa. 45:12)! We have a God who is so great that only his hand was needed to create the heavens. So, surely he is able to overcome our sin and unbelief and teach us all things through his Holy Spirit. The debate about homosexuality is about something far greater—it is about life and death. It is about believing the word of God or denying the truth. The loving thing to do is to speak the truth. The Holy Spirit will give you discernment to know where, how, and when you should speak. There is a time for everything so consider if you should remain silent in a given situation, but do not forget to speak up. Speak up because one message leads to life and the other to death. Finally, consider these words of Jesus, “For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven,” (Matt. 5:18-20). Within this post and a few more to follow I will summarize one of the debated issues within biblical studies. I have found that by understanding these various issues and modes of thought it is much easier to identify other’s beliefs and why they have them. I am currently reading The Heresy of Orthodoxy by Köstenberger and Kruger[1], which has provided much insight into the issues surrounding early diversity within the Church, the canon, and the translation and transmission of manuscripts. In this post I will summarize part one of the book related to heresy and orthodoxy in the apostolic church.
The first thing to note is there are four traditional views concerning the progression of early Christianity. 1. “Hellenism influenced the post–New Testament Church to the point of eradicating the original sense of the gospel message. The later church accommodated the surrounding culture, adding layers to the gospel that resulted in a message that significantly differed from the original,” (53). 2. “The Christianity that originated with Jesus and his apostles was merely the starting point of a series of theological developments that continued to evolve over the centuries. As a result, fourth century orthodoxy was vaguely connected to the original,” (53). 3. “There was no ‘heresy’ or ‘orthodoxy’ within earliest Christianity, but rather there were various ‘Christianities,’ each competing for dominance,” (105). Thus, orthodox Christian beliefs are simply the beliefs of those who obtained power. 4. “The theology emanated from the New Testament, continued through the church fathers, was guarded by Apologists, and solidified in the ecumenical church councils represents a continuous uninterrupted stream. The creeds accurately represent the essence of the apostolic faith,” (53-54). By recognizing each of these views you can begin to see them in the theology of others. For example, one of my professors seems to believe a combination of two and three. By being able to recognize this I am able to more confidently disagree with his views, because they are a result of flawed thinking concerning the development of the early church and Christian doctrine. The last view is the view that I, and the authors of the book, hold to. However, number three is the primary view that the authors are disputing. The Bauer-Erhman thesis argues that diversity was widespread in the early church, implying that there were no unified Christian beliefs. Bauer believed that “The Roman church imposed its version of orthodox Christian teaching onto the rest of Christendom. What is more, the Roman church rewrote history, expunging the record of deviant forms of belief, in order to further consolidate its ecclesiastical authority,” (26). Köstenberger and Kruger argue that Bauer’s historical reconstruction is not valid because it is based on very little evidence or does not accurately account for the evidence. They give several examples to demonstrate this, but I will not summarize these. The last thing they look at is the New Testament. Within their examination it becomes clear that there was continuity between the various authors of the New Testament regarding theological beliefs. If you are interested in the exact arguments regarding the invalidity of Bauer’s historical reconstruction and the diversity in the New Testament, I highly recommend you read the book (also read the review I put the link to). I do not want to spend time summarizing them because it would take too much space and my purpose in writing is to inform others about the issues, not argue for the truthfulness of Köstenberger’s and Kruger’s view. There are some final comments, the authors make at various points in this part of the book, that I would like to highlight to give better insight into some of the underlying problems and modes of thought that surround this controversy. 1. “The question addressed by the Bauer-Erhman thesis serves as a case study for how an idea is born, how and why it is appropriated by some and rejected by others, and how a paradigm attains compelling influence over people who are largely unacquainted with specific issues it entails,” (18). 2. “With the rise of postmodernism came the notion that the only heresy that remains is the belief in absolute truth—orthodoxy. It is no surprise that in this culture Bauer’s views are welcomed with open arms,” (39). 3. With regards to the New Testament writings, “strong convictions do not mandate dishonesty or inaccuracy,” (73). All writing is biased, but that does not necessitate all writing to be unreliable. 4. “The New Testament bears credible and early witness to the unified doctrinal core, in particular with regard to Christology, centered on Jesus and his apostles, a core that is, in turn grounded in Old Testament messianic prophecy,” (81). 5. “The Bauer-Erhman thesis insufficiently recognizes that at the core, power was a function of divine truth.” Not “truth being a function of human power. This, in turn, reveals an anti-supernatural bias in Bauer’s historical method and underscores the importance of using the proper philosophical grid in the study of Christian origins. The Bauer-Erhman thesis is wrong not just because these scholars’ interpretation of the data is wrong, but because their interpretation proceeds on the basis of a flawed interpretative paradigm,”(101). If there is one thing you learn from all of this, I hope it is that not all scholars agree with one another, nor are all scholars equally right. Do not just take for granted something a scholar says to be true. Instead, test it against what you know to be true about God and scripture. As, you can see Bauer’s view does not account for the sovereignty and power of God. This is something that is commonly repeated in liberal scholarship and something to watch out for. You must believe in the supernatural in order to be a Christian, so anyone who diminishes or fails to account for it should be suspect. We can know the truthfulness or lack thereof of an argument by what the teaching says about God, without having to know all of the history and theology to go with it. However, we should all be grateful to those who spend the time studying these issues so that we can more boldly proclaim the truth. [1] All quotations are from this book unless otherwise noted. The love of money manifests itself in many forms. Just as Satan comes as an angel of light, so some of the forms of idolatry appear to be good. This is especially true when it comes to money. More often than not we praise the means by which God accomplishes something instead of his power and role in it. Many within the American church have seen greed manifest itself and have become appalled, thus fleeing to the opposite end of the spectrum. However, those at both ends have made an idol out of money. Money is not evil. Having money is not bad. A Christian is obligated to give up all his/her desires and love of the world, not all of his/her possessions. The emphasis ought to be placed on the heart not on the things. Psalm 51:17 reminds us, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.” When we believe that we have to sell everything in order to be a disciple we are deceiving ourselves, instead, believing two lies.
The first is that we can do anything for God or anyone else for that matter on our own. All belongs to God, including power, glory, and praise for all things good and right. Often the desire to sell everything comes from a proud heart that seeks glory for itself. This, some may argue cannot be true, for selling belongings was a sign of having the Spirit for those mentioned in Acts. I do not dispute this, but I believe we ought to proceed with caution. Jesus words, “Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’” (Matt 7:21) are particularly insightful reminders . Jesus reminds us that some of the signs of God are similar in appearance to those of Satan. So, selling all that one has is not necessarily a sign someone is a true disciple. It is my opinion that false brothers come in appearing as righteous by selling belongings in order to gain favor and deceive others by placing burdens upon them. The second lie is that money has power. A belief in the power of money is a sure sign of idolatry. Jeremiah prophesied, “Every goldsmith is put to shame by his idols, for his images are false and there is no breath in them, They a worthless, a work of delusion; at the time of their punishment they shall perish,” (Jer 12:14-15). Money is worthless apart from God. The power is not in the money, but in God who uses the money as a means to an end. There is no doubt that God has ordained the giving of money to be a means to an end, but it is false to believe the money is what helps people—saves people. The last thing I would offer up for you to ponder is the means by which God works. Is money the only way for God to provide? Or have we been so engulfed in our own culture that we fail to see that money is not the only way to get food or water (which are the only true necessities). If there is a drought in a land, perhaps we ought to pray for rain and not just for money to be sent. God is not limited. He can work in anyway he chooses and money is just one way. True happiness and contentment is not found in things, but in Christ. So, we ought not to pity those who have fewer things than us. I leave you with an excerpt from my post about living in Ghana. Many times, as Americans, we tend to think that the people that live in, what we would call shacks, need more things, that what they have is not good enough. What I have learned is that what they have is more than enough. Our purpose is to live each day to glorify our Lord and they are able to do just that, even living in a small shack. We can hardly imagine life like this, but it is just a matter of fact and not as big of a deal as you might imagine. Thus, now, when I see these kinds of homes, which are not nearly as nice as ones in the states, I do not think, “Oh, poor people. They have to live in such a small house.” They are blessed people, who have a roof over their head and they are, for the most part, perfectly content with it. So why should I be discontent for them? Now, this is not to say that there are not any who need more of whatever it may be, just that many really do not need more things. Rather they need Christ. My friends, I write all of this because I fear many are burdened as I was. I fear many are bound by a belief that owning things means one is selfish—that enjoying the gifts of God is sinful. Do not be selfish and greedy, but do not be afraid to enjoy. Give generously and enjoy all God has blessed you with. Use what you have to bless others with—use your TV as a means to fellowship with others through movie nights, use your stove to cook for others, use for dishwasher to allow yourself more time with God. Oh, my friends how much trouble I would have been saved if someone explained all this to me sooner! How many nights I cried out to God because Satan had deceived me. I pray that God may protect you from Satan’s lies and enable you to enjoy God as you ought to. 1. More time to spend with God.
Naturally, one cannot talk about reasons for being single without listing Paul’s reason. As a single on holiday you have the opportunity to get know Christ that much more. Andrew Murray says it this way, “Do not think of asking for a holiday from this communion with God. Cherish holidays for the special time they give you to study beyond your ordinary Bible study course. Cherish holidays for the special opportunity of more fellowship with the Father and the Son.” How much more is this true for singles? He goes on to say that “it is in the leisure hours… that a child shows his true character.” So, give thanks for the extra time with God and show your true character during this free time. 2. Can give more generously. As a single (I’m talking marital status here) you have more that you can give to others in need. Those who are married with children, have a family to provide for, but as a single you are free to give more freely. You have the opportunity to bless others with your time and money that those who are not single do not always have. Remember, “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work,” (2 Cor. 9:7-8). 3. More time to learn. Now, you have the opportunity to read, not because you have to, but because you want to. You have the time, now, to learn about all those things you didn’t have time for before. The knowledge you gain, if you spend your time well, can be used to help others in a plethora of different ways. Not to mention you can learn more about our Heavenly Father in the process, for he created the world and everything it. If you are at a loss as to what to study, I might suggest to you the history of thought—fascinating stuff. 4. Can be a witness to the sufficiency of Christ. It is one thing to say, “Christ is enough” and another to live it. At the holidays, more than ever, people feel lonely and think they need a special person to make them happy. But, you can demonstrate that Christ is truly enough. You can be the one that people wonder about, “Why is he/she so happy? He/She is single!” It’s quite an awesome feeling to see people react in this way and I can’t help but smile and thank God for all he has done for me when it happens. With so much doubt about God’s abilities, especially to fulfill us, take this opportunity to be a witness to Christ’s sufficiency in your life. Be a witness to this joy that Andrew Murray discusses here, “Oh! that Christ's voice might reach the heart of every young Christian, and persuade them to believe that His joy is the only true joy, that His joy can become ours and truly fill us, and that the sure and simple way of living in it is—only this, to abide as Branches in Him our Heavenly Vine. Let the truth enter deep into us— as long as our joy is not full, it is a sign that we do not yet know our Heavenly Vine aright; every desire for a fuller joy must only urge us to abide more simply and more fully in His love.” “For this I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations, and sing to your name.” Psalm 18:49 One of the potential misfortunes of being single, in my opinion, is the lack of accountability. It’s my fault I do not have an accountability partner and my singleness is not an excuse, but there’s something appealing to me about having a lifelong partner who will also help keep me accountable, perhaps in ways others might not be able to. As I laid before God tonight, for the first time in too long, I was thinking about how easy it is for me to pretend like everything is ok. God has given me knowledge and understanding and it is easy for me to hide behind it. It’s not that I stopped seeking God or praying, but I have found myself complaining much more lately and not spending as much time as I used to simply worshipping God. I seek God, but not as I ought to. I began to think about how different things might be if I were married and what I want in a husband. What I want is someone who can and will keep me accountable. Naturally, there are many other things I look for all of which I have touched on in other posts, but a man who will stand up to me and remind me of the truth is what I truly desire. I want a man who will say to me in a firm voice, “Michelle, stop. That does not glorify our Heavenly Father.” I want a husband who will tell me to fall on my face before God—to not delay in doing so. I want someone who will hold me accountable in regards to how I spend money. (It’s a good thing we tend to have different wants and priorities—men and women that is.) I want someone who will tell me when I am being too hard on myself. I want someone who can remind me of the love of Christ and the sufficiency of his grace.
Please do not take all of this to mean that only those who are married can be held accountable, or that I believe your spouse should be your only accountability partner. This is not an excuse for my sin or the lack of accountability in my life—it’s my fault. This is not to say that marriage makes everything better or is the only way to know Christ’s love. God is far greater than all of that. This is just to say that I desire—and this is my desire (aside from my first which, is to glorify God), to have a godly husband who will hold me accountable. I have seen much criticism on Facebook lately about the effects of certain Christian dating books, especially in regards to guarding your heart. So, I thought I’d offer my two cents on the whole thing. But, before I continue, however, I want to disclose my bias. I am biased towards those courtship books and agree with the general principles that they outline. I have been tremendously encouraged by them. So, in writing this I hope to simply expound upon what it looks like to guard your heart.
Philippians 4:5-7 are some of the most comforting verses. While they are not meant to just be applied to singleness and dating I don’t believe any injustice is done in applying them in this manner. Philippians 4:5-7 states, “The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” The following are some principles that can be drawn from these verses. 1. “The Lord is at hand.” God is in control. God is in control over everything. This means that he is even in control of your love life. (And what a relief that is!) Remembering God is in control is the first step to guarding your heart. In other words you must first learn to set your heart and mind on the things above. 2. …”In everything by prayer and supplication…” This is our part. God is in control, but we must pray. We are encouraged to pray precisely because we know that God is in control and will hear our prayers. We are not anxious, even about our love life, when we remember God is in control and we pray. It is ok to pray for God to bring someone in your life. It is not ok for this to be the only or primary thing you pray for. We must intercede on behalf of others for this is the greater work. So, the second step to guarding your heart is to pray. Pray for God to help you desire Him above all, pray for your future spouse, and most of all intercede so that others may be saved and encouraged in Christ Jesus. 3. “…With thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” Whining to God about the state of your love life is not the way to guarding your heart. Nor is it the way to find peace and fulfillment as a single. Instead, you must pray with thanksgiving. Give thanks for all that he has done for you. Give thanks for what he has done for others. Give thanks because he is good. Thanksgiving is the third step to guarding your heart. 4. “And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” This is my favorite part. If you pray with thanksgiving then God will guard your heart for you. What an awesome promise this is! And what a relief! The key to guarding your heart is to let God do it for you. Not only will he guard your heart, but he will also guard your mind. These two things were not connected for no reason. Where our mind is there our heart will also be. If your mind is full of thoughts about marriage then it is not on God. This is not to say you cannot think about marriage…not by any means! I think about marriage. However, it should not be our primary focus, and my friend, you well know, if, it is for you or not. The answer to this problem is the same as to guarding your heart—pray with thanksgiving. When we pray our focus is on the Lord and we can find peace in knowing this. Oh, my friend I cannot express to you how comforting these verses have been for me, especially as a single. While I like those courtship books, that are being criticized, I do think they might have done a better job explaining this whole guarding your heart business. I too misunderstood what they were saying. If I may, give a personal example? Last year I liked someone who did not like me back. I was losing my mind because I thought I did something wrong. How could I have feelings for someone who didn’t like me back, unless I was not guarding my heart properly? I wrestled with God for a long time because I thought it was in my power to change things. Then God showed me that he was in control and I had done nothing wrong. What a relief! The whole while I was seeking him and praying for others. In fact, I never had sought him more in my life (and not just about myself and marriage). So, when I read these verses I found peace. I wasn't doing anything wrong and he was guarding my heart, I just needed to trust him to do so. Amy Carmichael is right, in acceptance lies peace. So, here is what I want to say to all who are single. Pray with thanksgiving. Do not feel ashamed for having feelings for someone, even someone who does not like you back. Trust that as you fix your eyes on Christ, he is guarding your heart and your mind and see your world transform before your very eyes. Begin to live with contentment and fulfillment as a single. Be a light and an encouragement right where you are. You are not a victim, my friend. You are a conqueror, more than a conqueror.
If there is one thing I like to do in my free time, it is read. I cannot help myself from reading the various posts that my friends share on Facebook. Naturally, I am only inclined to read those that relate to my faith in some way shape or form. As I read some of these posts that have become popular among my Facebook friends, I cannot help but be disappointed. Many of the authors of these posts make their points by aiming at the emotions rather than the bible and do not give any positive critique.
It is understandable to be upset with others who, in your opinion are wrong in some way shape or form, but treating them as anything less then a brother or sister in Christ is not. Granted, there are people who are simply wrong—who teach a false gospel, but these are not the people whom I am discussing here. I am talking about those who clearly love the Lord and want to serve him. So many of these critiques are written with such a hurtful slant that they lack integrity. In my opinion, any one who writes in this way does not really deserve to be heard. What is going to be accomplished by these sorts of rants? Instead, let us first, point out points of agreement and give others the benefit of the doubt. Before, bashing the author of a book or a preacher or a friend for that matter, try to understand what they mean not just what they say. Are they trying to point us to Christ? Then say so. Then gently disagree with the way they are saying to do it. Secondly, if you are going to critique someone’s stance on a biblical issue, you ought to have studied the topic in your bible. Do not just cherry pick bible verses, but do an in depth study. Give biblical evidence to support your view, not a subjective emotive appeal. D. A. Carson, in his book Exegetical Fallacies states, “An emotional appeal based on truth reflects sincerity and conviction; an emotional appeal used as a substitute for truth is worthless. The fallacy lies in thinking that emotion can substitute for reason, or that it has logical force.” Too much of what I have been reading has done exactly this. If you want people to respect you and hear what you have to say, then you must base your argument on biblical evidence and reason. You must demonstrate knowledge of the opposing view and explain with care, why you disagree. Simply appealing to emotions based on your one time encounter with a Pentecostal, Calvinist, complementarian, Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, etc. does not demonstrate integrity and makes your argument quite unconvincing. If you truly believe it to be the truth, then you should be concerned with explaining it to those who have the opposite view in a convincing manner, and not just concerned with rallying up those who already agree with you. For, what will you accomplish by that? So, my friends, I urge you, I beg of you, I beseech you, I entreat you to be loving, thoughtful, and biblical in your responses. Consider whether the post you are sharing has done the same. If that author has not done the same, do not share it. Find someone else who has written on the topic with integrity and share his or her article. Finally, let us (myself included) be reminded to not be like those, who spoke without understanding, that Paul warned Timothy about. As I urged you when I was going to Macedonia, remain at Ephesus so that you may charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, 4 nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is by faith. 5 The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. 6 Certain persons, by swerving from these, have wandered away into vain discussion, 7 desiring to be teachers of the law, without understanding either what they are saying or the things about which they make confident assertions. 1 Timothy 1:1-7 As someone who loves to learn, I constantly watch various videos and sermons on YouTube. After watching them I have a bad habit of scrolling down to see the comments below. Many of the videos I have been watching relate to the Arminian/Reformed debate, and so do the comments. The following are some of the comments that I have read. · What do you call a Calvinist missionary? A figment of your imagination! · Why should you choose a Calvinist Realtor? Because they do not believe in a “Great Commission”. · Why do Calvinists treat their wives like garbage? They figure that anybody that is stupid enough to marry them deserves no better. These made me cry. They made me cry because I do believe in evangelizing, in the great commission, and because I want to marry a Calvinist. To suggest, and so unkindly, that these things do not matter to me, or any other Calvinist, is more than hurtful. To call me stupid and whoever I marry abusive is downright insulting. Being a Calvinist does not decrease my desire to evangelize, but increases it. Making disciples is the thing I am most passionate about—I want to see people live in the fullness of Christ. My heart breaks tremendously when people, believers especially, do not have the peace of God at all times. I am not asking you to agree with me, but I am asking you to treat me as your sister in Christ—to treat all of us as your brothers and sisters. I am asking you to love us, especially with your words. I am asking that we “pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding” (Rom 14:19). Finally, I ask you to consider what we really do believe and why. So, many of the arguments do not accurately portray what we believe and most do not give any consideration as to why. Why would anyone choose to be the most hated Christian? Singleness and biblical womanhood are seemingly contradictory. Proponents of biblical womanhood teach that a woman should work at home and submit to her husband (Titus 2:4) so where does that leave singles? Before, I answer that question I must disclose that I am a single woman pursuing my masters in bible who believes in biblical gender roles and wants very much to be married and stay at home and raise kids. That being said, does my being current state of singleness and desire to teach God’s word mean that I am not fulfilling God’s vision of womanhood? Absolutely, not! God made man and woman equally capable[1] and responsible for procreation. When God spoke in Genesis 1:28, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth…” he spoke to the man and the woman. This seems to imply that both men and woman should be married and no one should remain single. However, we know in 1 Corinthians 7 that Paul tells his readers that it would be better for them to remain single. In fact he states in 1 Cor 7:8-9, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” A few verses later Paul says, “And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit” (1 Cor 7:34). So, if you are a single woman, rest assured you are standing on solid biblical ground. As a single woman I am fulfilling God’s purpose for me, because God’s purpose for creating me was for me to glorify him (Isa 43:21). And so, we can, now, see how far off track these debates have gone. A biblical woman is not someone who is married, but someone who is serving and glorifying the Lord. This is the reason for the confusion, this and bad hermeneutics (which I will get to). I want you to understand that a woman's purpose in life is not to have children nor is a man’s to be a husband. Our purpose is to glorify Christ in all that we do (1 Cor 10:31). So, if you desire to be single, then go for it! Paul clearly encourages it and so do I. If, however, you want to be married then you must submit to the scriptures teaching on marriage. This is where many have gotten off track. For example, Titus 2 is not about woman training younger women in the faith, it is about training younger women how to run a godly home-to be a godly wife. Titus 2:4-5 states, “...so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” This passage is about roles in marriage, not being a godly woman in general. Older woman ought to teach us younger women, who desire marriage, how to be godly wives who will love our husbands and children. You see, my friend, there is an intended audience in this passage and it is not the single women who have chosen to remain single. Paul is writing to the women who have been married and who desire marriage. Biblical womanhood teaches that if, you desire to be and are married then your role is to submit and your husband’s is to lead. Please, my friends put God first not your pride. I know it is difficult to accept this teaching, but these are the very words of God, not merely of man. We should delight in doing as he pleases, even if we do not understand it. Lord, knows how often (particularly when I had to attend chapel at my university) I wished to get up and give a sermon for the poor preacher who was struggling to boldly proclaim the truth (sometimes it wasn’t even the truth). Although, I may have the knowledge and ability to do just as well, if not better, than many men, God asks me to rid myself of that pride and humble myself before him, submitting to his will. [1] By this I mean that men have reproductive organs, as do women. I say this because the argument some make is a biological one (woman are capable of having children, thus it is their purpose) and my point is that both men and women are biologically responsible, not just women. Our biological differences are representative of the different roles God intended for us to have in marriage; but they do no negate that fact that some are called to singleness.
Not everything I do is normative—meaning you shouldn’t always follow my example. This should be obvious, because I am a sinner, but it is unfortunately quickly forgotten. Many times those I talk to will defend their points by saying something like this, “ Well, I know this great and godly man who…” The problem with this line of arguing is that it assumes that because they are godly their actions should be the norm. While there should be and is a correlation between maturity and the normativity of the actions of a believer, it does not necessitate that all their actions be normative. I believe that it is best to imitate the general attitude of the godly person, like Paul, rather than specific things they do. (This is not to say you cannot ever imitate specific things.) We ought to allow the Spirit to work in and through us in differing ways. For example, we ought to imitate those who pray without ceasing, but do not have to pray in the same position or using the same words they do. Your relationship with God should be uniquely your own.
Look to the examples of others, but fix your eyes on Christ. Whenever, there is a discussion about something turn first to the scriptures to defend your view, not to a personal example. I do not have it all right and neither does anyone else, so seek Christ’s example especially described within the scriptures. Remember, just because a godly mature believer says or does something does not make it right. We are all sinners saved by grace in need of God to reveal himself and will to us. I have been called boy crazy a time or two, or 102 times in my life by many different people. I am not sure why, and frankly, I think that they are all wrong. According to my definition; I just don’t fit the bill. :) But, let’s just say they are all right and I am boy crazy, then I think that makes me some kind of expert or somthing on all things boy related. Right? Ok, so maybe I am no expert, but I just might have (I pray) a few encouraging words to say related to the whole boy thing. First of all, I admit I have liked good number of boys in my life. My first crush was Eric Slife. I met him when I was 4 and told my Ma he was the one I was going to marry (a mistake I have sadly repeated...as an adult). There has not been a time since then that I have not, at the very least, been interested in someone, anyone. I have spent most of my life thus far, desperate to be married, or rather to be in a relationship. Thus, I have made my fair share of dating mistakes and had some break-ups along the way. So, my freshmen year of college I made a decision to not date anyone without my Heavenly Father’s approval. (On a side note, judging by the fact that I am still single, I’d say it’s safe to conclude he is a very protective Father.) Ever since then I have done my best to seek Him first when it has come to boys. What he has taught me is what I want to share with you. The first thing is that he is a patient, a very patient, an extremely patient Father. Lord knows how much I bothered him with questions about boys. “Is this the one for me, God? No, ok, what about that one?” (Perhaps you are beginning to see why some have called me boy crazy.) Despite all of my silly questions the Lord was pleased that I was seeking him and patient in teaching me the errors of my ways. Secondly, I learned to set my heart and mind on the things above. I do want to be married. So, there have been many times I have felt alone or unsatisfied, but God didn’t leave me there. No, instead he took me and renewed me. He purified my desires, so that I found more joy in the things that he delights in and less in the things of this world. Before, I thought believer’s baptism was a good thing. Now, I cry because I am overjoyed and amazed by God’s commitment to answer to prayer. I still desire marriage, but as my focus has shifted to others and away from myself, I have found so much more joy, peace, and yes, satisfaction. I find tremendous fulfillment in doing those things I know glorify the Lord, so much so, that I do not feel deprived or lacking in anything like I did before. Thirdly, I learned to put my trust in him. One of the most difficult things is to trust someone with your heart, at least it is for me. I like to be Miss Independent and definitely do not like being vulnerable. Vulnerability… such a scary word. I prefer to do all that I can to build up walls of protection and then pretend that things do not hurt me when they really do. However, more recently (you can read more about it in this post) God has taught me to open up to him and trust in his sovereignty. I battled with him for a long time before accepting what he gave to me and finding peace. We can trust in him because he promises to guard our hearts (not to mention because he is Yahweh!). In doing this we can have peace when others would be anxious and unsettled. But not just peace, joy! The most joyful time in my life was also the time I liked someone who didn’t like me back and was pursuing someone else. I know you don’t believe me, do you? Go ahead, ask my friends I was in Ghana with, they will tell you. My roommate didn’t even think I liked anyone. See, my friend, God is good to us and does not desire for us to be miserable single believers. Lastly, I have learned that the same words can mean different things to different people or even the same person. Last year, my friend finally said to me, “Michelle, you keep saying that you don’t feel God’s presence.” To which I responded, “Yes, but it’s different each time.” I say this to encourage you if you read other single’s posts. What those words mean to them, might not be the same thing they mean to you. I use to believe that I would always have to struggle with my desire to be married the same way I struggled with it a couple of years ago. Which meant I thought I would always be that miserable and always feel like I was deprived of something. I read of people who said they still wanted to be married and wrestled with that desire, and presumed (silly me) they meant wrestle with it like I was wrestling with it. I thought those words had the same meaning for me that they had for them, but that is hardly ever the case. Sure, being single and wanting to be married might have some difficulties and hard times, but you probably do not have to remain the way you currently feel. Many of the difficulties are just a part of the process of sanctification. There is much more peace, joy, and satisfaction to be found. Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. He promises! May God bless you, my friend! I pray that God may grant you peace, joy, and fulfillment in him. It is my belief and conviction that one of the most tempting sins in the Western Culture is reason. The reason for this is, in part, because of its emphasis in our education system.[1] States standards are set in order to test critical thinking skills. (Hence, the move to Common Core.) We value reason. We love reason. We worship reason.
I can already tell that I will have to clarify, clarify, clarify. So let me do that now. I do not think reason is inherently bad or evil. I think we should test everything like the Bereans. I believe reason helps us in numerous ways, but I think it is an idol for many and can be a hindrance to our faith in God. I love to think about and question things, but there comes a point at which, I allow reason to rule or God. In this season of my life I am continuously tempted by reason. The result has been a worn out grad student, fighting to believe. It is a great challenge and hindrance to our faith to talk about God as if he is not real, as if he is not above all. When we discuss theology with the mindset that all we need is to think critically enough about it, we have gotten it all wrong. How disappointed God must be with many of us theology/bible/pastoral students who depend first on our reason and second upon Him. Our reason can take us so many places, many of which are far from God and his truth. We cannot and should not let our reason dictate what we believe about God. Theology has to be underneath him and his truth in our minds, and not above. We cannot believe that our ability to study and reason through theology will help us to know God; we must believe that God will help us understand theology. God has to teach us about his nature, not reason.[2] Oh, how much my head has hurt these past couple of months! All because I have been tempted by reason. Being educated is good, but there is something to be said about believing like a Child. A child who certainly has not developed all of the higher level critical thinking skills, but believes and obeys without questioning. We[3] must trust in God and obey him even when he doesn’t seem real or alive. Oh, that we would return to a childlike faith. That we would not let our level of education change our belief that God is real, that the Bible is his word to us, and that he truly is greater than all we could ever imagine! I believe in God. I believe in the cross. I believe in his word. I believe, I believe! I believe for no other reason then because he has enabled me to do so—because he is real! “Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy that faith has; it never comes to the aid of spiritual things, but more frequently than not struggles against the divine Word, treating with contempt all that emanates from God.” -Martin Luther [1] Historically the reason can be traced back much farther to various movements. Our education system is a product of them. [2] God through reason, perhaps, but not reason alone; not reason first. [3] I say we, but I mostly mean I. After all, this is really just a pep talk to myself. :) |
What I write AboutMy posts are all about the Christian walk in some way or another. I do my best to make what I post worth reading, thus there are many more things that I write about but do not post. Some of my posts are my reflections on scripture or a quote, other posts are simply my testimony, and others still are letters of encouragement. I hope that you will be encouraged or challenged in your walk with Christ as a result. God Bless you, my friend.
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